you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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