Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
