What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize