2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
