He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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