I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
