Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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