They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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