I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
