question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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