Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize