You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
