Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
