Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
