I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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