stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
