It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
