I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
