I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
