How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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