She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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