When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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