his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
