I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
