Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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