Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
