There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
