Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
