you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
