I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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