I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
