This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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