hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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