I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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