Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
