he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
