There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
