pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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