I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
