you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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