I skipped work to stalk him.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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