turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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