i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
