I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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