If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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