I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
