My brain says no but my pants say off.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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