And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
