He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
