I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
