gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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