Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
