no. you can't hotbox the world.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
