I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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