He felt like a one man threesome
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
