I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
