I want to walk on stilts...naked
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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