just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
