I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
