You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
