she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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