LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
