My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
