U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So vagazzling was a success
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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