i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
soo... how was my night?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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