He disabled his match.com account in front of me
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize