Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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